Got a gun? You get none!

Women. Have. Power.

Help wanted

Mothers: When our boys are “out of control” — for example, if at a young age they are talking back, staying out late, skipping school, lying about their whereabouts — who do we turn to for help? Is it a sign of trouble or just boys trying to act like men?

We hear a lot of mothers complaining about these kinds of behaviours, but do you think there is any way to stop them before they become a “real problem?” If the fathers are absent, do we call on them to now step up and handle things — or is it too late? Do we tell our own families what is going on, or do we hide it from them in shame? Do we stage an intervention?

What did you do, or what do you suggest, when sons start acting out?

And please, let’s move the conversation beyond “beat them.” Scores upon scores of mothers could tell us: Been there. Done that. Doesn’t work. I mean, correct me if I’m wrong — it might have worked for you or for somebody you know. But it just does not seem like beating a child, or a teenager, or a young man (if you could actually manage it!) could really be a dependable or effective strategy at this stage of the game.

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One thought on “Help wanted

  1. First let me start by saying that, having done it with 3 children and a spouse, raising children is an extremely time-intensive, tough and rewarding job. I cannot imagine the amount of work it takes as a single parent, but I know some single mothers who have been extremely successful. So, for young women reading this blog, think very carefully about the commitment required to do it alone. Spending time with children right through to the teen years and early adulthood is key, either being at home with them, taking them to museums etc. or accompanying them to capacity building activities. Through this, a strong connection and lines of communication will build. Having been spanked as a child myself, I understand the method and turned out okay, however, I never saw the need to use that method for discipline. Strong communication and clear high expectations set the tone. Parents are the first place children look for mentorship, guidance and expectations and only seek that outside the home if it is not available inside. Having said all of that, in the scenario mentioned in the blog, pulling a strong network of family and/or friends to stage an intervention could be a strategy. That strategy should rely on communication, care and guidance, not attack. Responsibilities for both parent and children should be stated and just as children are expected to follow through, so should parents.

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