Got a gun? You get none!

Women. Have. Power.

Archive for the category “Resources”

Man of the house

“(I think), most women seem to be either silent, reasonable, or in favor of more gun control. Perhaps they know that a gun in the house raises the likelihood of their getting shot and killed by a factor of 3.4, and that ninety percent of the time their killer will not be a stranger breaking into their house in the dead of night but someone they know. (To be shot by the man of the house holding the gun that was bought to defend the woman of the house from the stranger breaking into the house… talk about irony.)” — Matthew Chapman, Guns, Guys, and Gelding — How to Stop Men and Boys Shooting People in America

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They can’t stop us

“If the gun extremists want to attack me, they have a constitutional right to do so, but don’t ever think that they will stop us from believing in nonviolence approaches to cure the sicknesses that are ailing our communities.” — Russell Simmons, The Anti-Violence Approach to Violence

Pick you battles…and your allies

The last few days have been quite the worldwind of media attention. Thank you to CBC’s Ontario Today for giving us the first mainstream opportunity to take this conversation from Facebook and the blog to the airwaves. And thank you, somewhat, to the other media outlets that didn’t quite put in the effort required to create news and report accurately…but still helped to draw attention to the discussion, although with the sour taint of sex scandal dressed up and misrepresented to attract as many readers and listeners as possible.

And a special thank you to those who actually came to visit the site, maybe even read something, and tried to get a sense of what we are really talking about. Now that we’re all here, we’d like to lay out some groundrules.

Please consider this blog to be a virtual living room. In this virtual living room, we are having a conversation about the issue of harbouring and enabling armed criminals and potential criminals in our families and in our communities. You are welcome to join in. Make yourself comfortable. Stay for awhile. See what others have shared. Add your own thoughts and ideas.

This is NOT a conversation about self-proclaimed “law-abiding gun owners” nor is this conversation about hunters, sport shooters, people in the army, police, collectors, or any of the other “firearm owners” who are worried about gun control and a loss of rights. This blog is neither about you nor for you.

If the issues of criminal gun use do not affect you, your family, or your communities, please do not feel obligated to participate. However, your insight may prevent another Eaton’s Centre shooting or Just Desserts. Gun violence does not just impact the places where we think it should. We may all be one cappuccino or croissant away from facing these problems ourselves.

Like in any other living room, in this conversation you will be expected to respect the rules of the house. If your purpose is to ridicule without adding anything to the discussion, don’t expect to see your comments posted here. Unnecessary verbiage may be edited for clarity. We are trying to discuss real issues. Anything less is a waste of everyone’s time, and certain types of comments only make it difficult for those who actually want to participate in this discussion.

No sex, no food, no home, no family.

“I’ve listened to the first show [on CBC – 13 Sep 2012]. Great work. Have a gun to be used for a criminal offense — no sex, no food, no home, no family. I like what Dr. said in the first show — you have a right to search through a room in your house, your SAFE place, if you believe criminal items are being kept there.” — Johanne C.

Rape as a viable option?

The best thing about being able to move a discussion forward is to learn about what some of the pitfalls might be, where the weak areas are, what is viable and what is not. During the call-in portion of yesterday’s conversation on CBC radio’s Ontario Today, the issue of rape and domestic violence was raised a LOT. Many listeners felt that “withholding” sex from men who have guns (we had to specify up front that we are talking about guns that are meant to be used to shoot other people) — saying NO to being with a man who is a negative element in our communities (aka. “thug gangster”) could result in violence against women from these men who seem to have a propensity for violence. We were lucky to have Dr. Roz (of Dr. Roz’s Healing Place in Scarborough) on hand to address this important factor.

What do you think? Does it come down to yes or no? Should women have to say YES because of what might happen if they say NO? Do we have the services and support that are needed to help women who want to say NO, who want to move on and get away from a bad situation but can’t? If you have any insight about this issue OR any valuable resources that you would recommend, please share them here. There may be someone reading this right now who KNOWS someone or who IS someone who would like to get away from a negative situation. We may not all agree on strategy BUT we can at least agree that if a woman wants to leave, she should have the support that she needs to do so.

It was also interesting that rape was presented as though it was the next logical step for a man that is not getting sex from his partner. I was surprised that this point was raised so often because I think that most men would never think of raping anybody! More likely if they were dissatisfied with the situation, they would either move on and find somebody else, or make whatever change was needed to keep the women that they really want. However I could not deny that most of the people who raised the point of rape were men so they certainly would have some insight into how a man might react.

Overall the conversation raised a lot of great points: the possibility of the rise of prostitution, mothers in denial, social programs, calling the police on your loved ones, stronger gun laws, self-esteem and mental health issues, legal gun ownership, absentee fathers, poverty, even sex as a commodity. I hope this conversation is continuing in the living rooms (and bedrooms). Especially for people who think it’s a crazy idea because they can even raise other strategies or help to strengthen other areas that the rest of us may not be looking at.

Lessons in the Lyrics: Forget I was a G (Whitehead Brothers)

This classic from the soundtrack of the movie “Jason’s Lyric” (1994) really speaks to the issue of a man getting out of the gangsta lifestyle for the love of a woman. Self-reflection is key, he asks himself: “What would I do if I was to lose my girl? How would she feel if I was to leave this world?” Words to live by.

Forget I was a G (Whitehead Brothers)

Street life, it’s the only life I know

All the hustlin and the building

Living on my own

No one…I can love no one to trust

Til you came into my life girl

Now I’m giving it all up

For you…

Get down and pray

That you will stay

With a man like me

And forget I was a G.

Threw away my pager, got my number changed again

No more business calls from other Gs try’na hustle up some ends

Moved to a new location where nobody knows my name

I’ll just live my life in love with you cuz I’m finally out the game.

Get down and pray

That you will stay

With a man like me

And forget I was a G.

I used to hustle on the block

Pull out me glock

Lick some shots!

If you didn’t have me money, straight goin in ya tip

Til I met this fly honeydip

Oh shhhhh!

Ask no questions, I’ll tell you no lie

This girl was fly

Put me off that vibe

Oh my!

So I had to stop hustlin

Cuz hustling was the road to the clink.

She made me think:

What would I do if I was to lose my girl?

How would she feel if I was to leave this world?

Now this lady showed me how to bury the old me

I’m living in peace

Cuz I’m no longer an OG.

Get down and pray

That you will stay

With a man like me

And forget I was a G.

I don’t wanna be a G no more…

I don’t wanna be a G no more…

Sex strikes as a global strategy

“It seems that the sex strike as a strategy against war works: it’s been used in Kenya, Sudan, Liberia and the Philippines recently.” — Belinda A.

Watch this YouTube video: Philippines – Sex Strike Brings Peace

Read this Telegraph article: Sudanese women ban sex in effort to halt war

“Women decided that by withholding sex from their men they could force them to commit to peace – and it’s worked.”

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